Letter to «The Guardian»

Dear The Guardian´s Editor,

This letter is aimed to respond to the article: “Programme aims to help people affected by ‘parental alienation’” published by The Guardian on July 14th, 2016.

This letter is written on behalf of thousands of mothers and their children, from Australia, Denmark, US, Italy, Spain, UK, France, Germany, Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina, or México, who are suffering an international pattern of human rights violations resulting in the loss of their children and/or inability to protect them from abusive fathers.

Parental alienation with its multiple names, (friendly parent, syndrome of the mischievous woman, child´s loyalty conflicts, or parental interference) is the strategy through which, abusive fathers and women´s batterers are empowered by law to take children away from women and continue with their abuse and control using the Court system as a violence weapon, after divorce.

Throughout the world, battered women and mothers trying to protect their children from fathers who sexually abuse their children are being silenced, with the accusation of PAS – Parental Alienation or SAP in Spanish speaking countries by violent men together with judges and psychologists who have the same patriarchal ideology. Women are not only silenced, but discredited, degraded, disempowered, and emotionally and financially devastated, in the process of trying to end the abuse. Women receive threats of jail or of being introduced in psychiatric hospitals, or of complete loss of their children; and children are silenced by sophisticated methods of psychological coercion carried out by court-affiliated psychologists.

The article we are responding to, talks about difficult breakdowns, which are, in fact, breakdowns that have an underlying pattern of violence and abuse either with a Court condemnation to the abuser or violence which has not been reported and appears in the Court when dealing with the custody and visitation process. So there is no poisoning, but rather, an interest in hiding abuse under the rug.

PAS was created by Richard Gartner who was a firm defendant of pedophilia, and died under extremely peculiar circumstances.

It is relevant to mention, that PAS never appears in the context of ordinary psychological consultation, because it is the unfortunate creation of the powerful father´s associations in their aim of stopping the women´s liberalization movement. It is not a coincidence that PAS and mandatory Shared Custody (no food pension) have appeared at the same time. Both have the same goal, maintaining a position of power towards women and children within the patriarchal order.

It is curious that abusers more than other fathers, fight more for the custody, and incredibly, most of the times, obtain it. It is curious that judges, social services, court psychologists are experts in PAS, rather than in the permanent physical and psychological consequences for women and children of living for years under the stress of gender´s violence, which is somehow similar to living in captivity. These consequences of trauma are used against victims in the court, rather than as an indicator of gender´s violence.

The article mentions that PAS is growing every year. Well, what is really happening is that there is a growing worldwide trend of surfacing gender´s violence, children sexual abuse, and achieving gender´s equality, throughout the world. More and more women and children all over the world are rebelling against abusive and coercive methods of violence. And, with the goal of stopping this trend, powerful father´s rights associations invite more and more abusing fathers, to use PAS accusations in the Court. PAS is to be understood as a tremendous regression in women and children´s rights.

The article brings the example of a woman, when it is just a manipulation to the audience to hide the real goal that underlies PAS, which is hiding abuse, violence, and pedophilia. PAS is a strategy used by men, not by women.

Courts force abused children to restore the relationship with the violent or abusing father, even though, by doing so, the pattern of abuse is transferred from father to son, and the victim pattern to the daughter. Courts sacrifice children´s rights of living a life of dignity and free from abuse in the altar of the father´s rights.

When a child refuses to relate with the father, when the child cries in the court, he is said to be alienated, it is said to be brain washed by the mischievous and manipulative mother and the custody is not only given to the abusing father, but also, the child is separated absolutely from the mother for many months, even years. The mother is not allowed to see, talk, and be near the child, some mothers are forced to go into psychiatric hospitals and/or some have to pay high Court penalties to the abuser. The child is separated from her primary caregiver with whom she has developed a safe attachment, and very frequently the relationship is severely damaged. The social services and Court psychologist brain wash the children telling them their mother is mad and that they are liars.

PAS is responsible for the increase in the death of women and children, who see staying in the abusing relationship as the only way in which they are able of protecting their children, and prefer to run the risk of losing their life in the interim.

Alice Miller, famous Swiss psychologist and psychoanalyst who is noted for her books on parental child abuse, studied the early life of famous dictators, and found all of them had very difficult childhoods full of violence and disrespect. It is important to take into consideration that we are having a generation of children whose tears and claims are silenced and repressed by the authorities who have decided to empower abusers, instead. We are raising a generation of children that are living under extreme conditions of fear and pain, thanks to the worldwide pattern of violation of women´s rights PAS is promoting.

In this context, it is important to underline the use of UK public funds to finance the use of PAS, an inexistent syndrome, to empower misogynist father´s rights instead of children’s´ right of being safe and happy, necessary conditions required for developing a healthy society.